Patient Stories

A Quiet Hand: How Friendship and Loss Led to Hospice Volunteering

For Darrold, the decision to become a hospice volunteer crystallized while visiting his lifelong friend Tony, a longtime Care Dimensions volunteer, who was dying of cancer.

“One day, I just told Tony: ‘I've been thinking about something that I've been wanting to do for a long time. I’m going to carry forward your work of hospice volunteering.’ Oh, he just lit up and gave me the number to call.”

It was a moment that carried the weight of their decades of friendship, going back to when Darrold and Tony – two “Minnesota farm boys” – met during seminary in high school. The two were ordained together as Roman Catholic priests in 1974.

After fulfilling early careers, Tony left the church and married – continuing his vocation as a United Church of Christ minister.  A few years later, Darrold too decided to set aside his priesthood and marry. He and Janet raised three children in Carlisle.

For his next career chapter, Darrold also wanted to stay in a field where he could continue making a difference in people’s lives. He found that purpose in elder care, working in leadership roles at nursing homes and assisted living facilities.

“I ran communities, guided staff, and built teams to help frail elderly people continue to live fruitful lives.”

Loss Leads to a New Chapter

Through his elder care work, Darrold often worked with hospice services. He knew of the benefits.

And through Tony, he had learned of the Care Dimensions volunteer program – where Tony had signed up to meet with patients and offer companionship. (Tony is pictured on the left in the photo, Darrold on the right.)

“He would talk about it as a continuation of his lifelong devotion to wanting to be useful and helpful to other people. That resonated with me whenever he put it that way.

“Little by little, I felt my calling to do this work take shape. Then when Tony was diagnosed with cancer, I thought, I'm going to take this up it as a continuation of his work – carrying forward a ministry of giving to others.”

Shortly after Tony died in early 2025, Darrold signed up for the volunteer training program. There, he learned of the various roles volunteers serve at Care Dimensions – from meeting patients at home, greeting families at the hospice houses, or even working alongside staff. For him, he felt most called to face-to-face companionship.

“I felt guided along to become a hospice volunteer with Care Dimensions. I'm a big believer in the quiet hand that guides us.”

Walking Alongside

Darrold was matched with a man in his 90s at a nursing home who had dementia. He was at first amazed to hear the man was a former priest – a seemingly unbelievable coincidence that could immediately connect the two.

“However, it didn't take long for me to understand that his dementia limited what we could talk about. While he was very articulate, he had no awareness of the story of his life after 1954. So we really couldn’t share much about our lives as priests.”

For almost a year, Darrold visited weekly with the retired priest. Instead of swapping stories about their earlier professions, he listened to vivid stories of the man’s childhood, growing up in the south during the 1930s and 1940s.

“He lived in that early part of his life, and I walked there with him.

“I found that the best course was for me to just be present with him. Companionship is the heart of the matter.”

Every Volunteer’s North Star

A lifetime of helping others has led Darrold to this new role of hospice volunteer. And thoughts of Tony are with him often – the quiet hand guiding him along.

“There's something that draws you to this work – it’s more than just a curiosity. I call it every volunteer's North Star. You want to really find your star and hold that close to your heart when you're visiting people.”

For those who are considering becoming a hospice volunteer, Darrold offers perspective that comes from decades of ministry and devotion to the elderly.

“I think it's inescapable that there's always a sad piece there. It's a person who's lived a full, rich, long life, full of pluses and minuses, and now it comes to an end. There's a certain sad feeling you can't quite part with.

“But if you really are getting close to the heart and soul of a person, you're going to see the good work that came through that person's life. For me, that recognition of the richness of a person's life always overcomes any real heavy sadness.”

If your North Star is guiding you towards hospice volunteering, visit CareDimensions.org/Volunteers or contact our team at [email protected].