Care Dimensions Bereavement Group Facilitator Maureen O’Kelly

Grief Group Leader: ‘Happiness Can Come Back’

Maureen O’Kelly of Rockport was a 43-year-old English teacher when her husband died. That experience drove her to an encore career 12 years later when she retired from teaching, obtained her master’s degree in mental health, and became a bereavement group facilitator with Care Dimensions.

For 20 years, Maureen has led Care Dimensions’ Loss of Spouse/Partner group. “It’s what I wanted to do for the second phase in my life,” says Maureen, who shares her own loss experience with her group. “The best advice I can give to people is, ‘Happiness can come back.’

“I tell my group the color went out of my life when my husband died, but now I’ve never been happier. My late husband gave me confidence, which propelled me through life. I ask the group to think about the greatest gift given to them by their partner and how they are carrying on that gift to bring joy to all around them.”

Still a teacher

Over the years, Maureen’s curriculum has evolved to include her research on loss of partner and poetry. “I start with a poem reflecting loss and end with homework — there’s the teacher in me again,” she quips.

For the past seven years, Maureen has run Loss of Spouse/Partner four times per year for 12 people each session. Several hundred people have benefited from her guidance over the past two decades.

“I see on their faces and the light in their eyes after they listen to each other about what they’re going through,” she continues. “It builds their sense of community. About 80 percent of my groups still get together some way or another. I suggest they exchange contact info and gather for a breakfast a month after group ends.

“The strongest feelings that emanate from groups are ‘I’m not alone’ and ‘I’m not alone on this planet,’ she says. “Many haven’t had support, or they wouldn’t be there. And groups are not for everybody; some simply are not prepared to hear others’ pain.” 

Care Dimensions offers many grief support groups and an array of bereavement resources. Some groups, like the one Maureen leads, are for people whose loss occurred at least three months ago. To learn more, visit: https://www.caredimensions.org/grief-support/. 

About the author

Robin Ellington is a Care Dimensions Marketing Specialist.