Understanding "Grief Fog": The Science Behind What You're Feeling

If you've lost someone dear to you, you may have experienced what grief counselors call "grief fog” – a disorienting feeling that may show up as an inability to complete tasks, a dreamlike yearning, or chronic exhaustion. Those living with profound grief often report feeling that they’re “going crazy,” and their murky brain contributes to this troubling state of mind.

But rest assured, you’re not going crazy. What you’re experiencing is felt by many people.

Through education, bereavement counselors at Care Dimensions seek to normalize this experience by helping people understand the biological basis for this facet of grief.

What’s Actually Happening

When we form deep attachment bonds (like a child/parent relationship or an intimate partner), our brains literally change. Neural pathways are created to acknowledge that connection, and they don't simply disappear when someone dies.

The result is a grieving brain that is at odds with itself. It’s simultaneously managing threads of attachment (that feeling that a loved one is still here) and conflicting threads of memory (the knowledge that someone has died). This creates the “fog” that so many can feel.

Neuroplasticity – your brain’s ability to reorganize itself – offers hope. If you give yourself time to process your grief and acknowledge your feelings, you will likely find you are adapting and gradually healing. That fog will lift.

Strategies for Helping with Grief Fog

This is especially helpful for those experiencing a recent death.

• Give yourself permission to slow down: Try to keep a simple routine and don’t overwhelm your schedule. It’s ok to say “no” to friends and family, giving yourself time and space to process your significant loss.
• Be patient with yourself: Realize it’s normal that you “don’t feel like yourself.” In time, you will adapt and adjust, although sometimes with new perspectives on life.
• Postpone major decisions: Things like finding a new home or a new job can wait for now. Give yourself time to find clarity.
• Practice good self-care routines: Eat well, get reasonable amounts of sleep and exercise, and do things you enjoy. This will help your healing process.
• Seek connections: Whether it’s from a grief counselor, therapist or a grief support group, it’s important to find help if you find you are having difficulty coping with your loss. Sharing with others can make a difference in acceptance and validates your emotions.

Care Dimensions offers support groups every month, both in-person and online. Visit CareDimensions.org/Grief to learn more. You can also contact our team: [email protected] or 978-774-5100.