Patient Stories

Care Dimensions Hospice House: A Quiet, Welcoming Place for Family

It was a memorable first date, to say the least: a movie, a late evening meal, and changing a car tire in the pouring rain.

“I said I could call AAA, but John said no, and got out the jack,” recalled Kathy. “We both got soaked. And he was down on the ground, ruining his pants.”

Weeks later, Kathy and John stayed up together until the early morning, talking for hours about their lives and dreams. “We were inseparable after that,” said Kathy.

Diagnosed as legally blind in his 20s, John didn’t let it derail his budding career as a civil engineer. He worked in the field for decades – thick glasses always within reach. He especially enjoyed mentoring college students: answering their questions and letting them shadow on projects.

When he wasn’t building things at work, he was often building things in his basement: everything from radiator covers and wind-powered whirligigs to items for Kathy, like a stand for her hats or storage for her knitting supplies.

Kathy and John didn’t have any kids of their own, but the size of their families – John was one of seven, Kathy the oldest of six – meant there were plenty of nieces and nephews to spoil. A handmade wooden toy from Uncle John was a regular gift around holidays and birthdays.

“He worked all his life until January 2020, and the only reason he really retired was to take care of me,” said Kathy, who had broken several bones near her ankle. The rehab was long, complicated by the onset of the pandemic shutdowns, which turned her physical therapy appointment into a virtual visit.

“The physical therapist wanted to see how I was walking. If you ever want to know if somebody loves you – it's seeing them on their hands and knees, following you with a phone so a doctor can see how you're walking through the kitchen.”

A Diagnosis, and Then a Decision

In the months and years that followed, Kathy regained her footing and she and John enjoyed retirement.

They frequently spent time in Maine, including at their favorite restaurant in York – Clay Hill Farm – known for its nature setting and filled with birdfeeders.

But in 2024, John was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He opted for surgery – then physical therapy – but the cancer led to a series of complications that had John in and out of the hospital for months.

“And then one day, four physicians came in to talk to us, and we just knew it wasn’t going to be good news,” said Kathy. “They told us his heart was not working properly and that there wasn’t anything else they could do.”

Kathy and John were told about their hospice options, including the Care Dimensions Hospice House, which sits right on the Lincoln/Waltham town line – just minutes from where they lived. “Just from the pictures they showed us there at the hospital, it seemed like a quiet and peaceful place,” remembered Kathy.

For John, one part was clear: “I don't want my wife worrying about me and having to care for me all the time.

“I want to go to the hospice house.”

A Place for Family to Gather

Once they arrived, they realized the house also offered something that they couldn’t get in the hospital: space for family to come visit and feel at ease.

“It felt more like home than a clinical environment,” said Kathy. “At one point, we must have had eight people in the room, all chatting away – on the couch and in chairs around the table. One day it was nice enough to open the doors and a couple people sat outside on the patio.”

That led to the family’s memorable encounter with the local wildlife.

“All of a sudden, a turkey comes right up to the double doors,” said Kathy, laughing as she tells the story. “Someone jumped up and shut the doors before he could get inside.

“I like nature, but I like nature outside! John got a big kick out of them slamming the door shut.”

John was never one for a lot of words, but Kathy had frequent questions, especially around what to expect in the days ahead.

“The staff who came into the room would always ask me how I was doing. And when I asked questions, no one ever shut me down or turned me off. They stayed and talked with me. I was treated like I was a patient. And in a sense I was, because grief is a physical thing too."

The sofa was converted to a pull-out bed so Kathy could stay overnight. And one night, while John slept, one of their nephews stopped by with coffee and donuts at 10:00 p.m., reminiscing for an hour about their shared memories.

“The environment allowed for that; allowed him to pick up Dunkin' Donuts and sit with me awhile. I don't know that we would have gotten that anywhere else.”

John’s love story with Kathy started with changing her tire in the rain. On hospice, he still had her interests at heart. Among his final words to his brother was to make sure to “help Kathy.”

In John’s final moments, Kathy sat next to her husband of 43 years, holding his hand and singing softly. “I told him I was there, and that it was okay for him to do what he needed to do. ‘Nothing’s going to harm you, not while I’m around.’”

John died after four days in the hospice house, time that Kathy and the family cherished.

Keeping John Close

One year later, Kathy is still grieving and John is never far from her heart, with special keepsakes serving as reminders of their life together: a tote bag made of his tropical shirts, a stuffed bear stitched from his favorite flannels.

On the first wedding anniversary without John, she returned to their favorite Maine restaurant. There are always birds and other critters around – and on this visit, Kathy noticed a cardinal by the bird feeder.

“A turkey came near the feeder, and you’d think the cardinal would fly off. But he just stayed there, staring down the turkey,” recalls Kathy.

She says she couldn’t help but feel like John was there – in some way – to mark the occasion and make sure she was doing OK.

“I said ‘I see you, my love. Thank you for coming. You can go now.’ And the cardinal flew away.”

Kathy recently purchased a tribute brick in the Garden of Remembrance at the Care Dimensions Hospice House – a place she often walked while John was there. Now, it gives her a quiet place to return and remember him. The brick program also provides a miniature replica as a keepsake. Learn about tribute bricks.