Patient Stories

One Hand Washing the Other

Donna is still amazed that she and her siblings made the trip intact – and it was all thanks to her mother, Joan.

“She took five children – ages 8, 6, 5, 3, and 18 months – by herself on the train from Boston to New York, then to New Jersey for the flight to Germany. One three-year-old by the hand, one 18-month-old on her hip, no baby carriage, luggage for all of us. I don't know how she did it.”

Like many military families of the 1950s and 1960s, this was simply the life. For Donna, it was a return trip to Germany, where she was born six years earlier. Her childhood also had stops in several U.S. states.

Joan was alone with the kids for the trip because her husband Leo was already in Germany, recently stationed there with the Army. When she arrived, the challenges became clear.

“Dad got us all settled in for a couple of weeks and then he left for the field. Thirty days!” recalled Donna. “My mother had no phone, no car, no friends or family, and didn’t speak the language. She only had hot water if she went downstairs, got coal, and brought it up to the small water heater attached to the bathtub.”

They were in a rural area – and it was tough for a while to make friends, for both Joan and the children.

“A lot of good soldiers left the service because their wives couldn't take it,” remembers Leo.

Donna adds: “But not my mother. She deserved a medal.”

“He’s a Keeper”

Leo was in his late teens when he joined the Army, and served as a tank gunner in the Korean War.

“On New Year's Eve, I was standing on the Chinese border for 10 minutes. That’s when the Chinese came and we turned south.”

After his tour, he was stationed in New Jersey, coming home on the weekends to see family. In the fall, one of his brothers was taking his girlfriend to the Topsfield Fair, and invited Leo to come along as a double-date – setting him up with Joan. The two had known each other while growing up in Danvers together.

“The next day, she invited him to Sunday dinner with the family,” Donna recounts. “And when he helped clear the table, my grandmother said to my grandfather in French, ‘He's a keeper.’

“She didn’t know my father understood French.”

Leo and Joan got married in 1953 and raised five children together. After a 20 year career in the Army, Leo retired with the rank of Sergeant First Class E7. One of his last tasks was helping to train new soldiers for the Vietnam War.

Following two decades of traveling the world, they settled down in Beverly, in a place they’d call home for the rest of their lives. Leo found a second career working for the Sheriff’s Department, while Joan continued in her role as the welcoming matriarch of a growing family. Through the years, they added 15 grandchildren, and then 16 great-grandchildren.

Joan passed in 2020, at age 89. She and Leo were married 67 years. Her quiet strength over the decades held the family together. In her absence, and with Leo also navigating his own health, his daughter Donna stepped into the role of his primary caregiver.

Hospice Helps Bring Leo Home

Leo's health had its ups and downs, but nothing the family couldn't manage. In 2025, an emergency room visit changed everything.

After a stay in the hospital, Leo was transferred to a rehab facility. He was days away from being sent home when he got COVID.

“That really set him back,” remembers Donna. “One evening while I was visiting him, one of the nurses said, ‘How's he doing?’ And I said, ‘You know what, at this point, I just want to bring him home.’ And he came home with Care Dimensions."

Leo’s age – he’s now 96 – and health complications qualified him for hospice. But he didn’t go home to die. He went home to be close to family and to live as independent a life as he possibly can.

A certified nursing assistant, Ceceilia, comes five days a week for about an hour each time. A nurse,Patrick, visits weekly. They’ve gotten to know Leo, his history, and his family.

“They're angels,” Leo simply states.

For Donna, the assistance is almost immeasurable.

"Without Care Dimensions, I'd be too exhausted. I don't know how long I could have done it by myself every day.”

And, Donna says, it’s not just the scheduled home visits, but also knowing she’s never alone.

"Knowing that I can pick up the phone and call Care Dimensions – regardless of what the question is – they're right there.

“My father needed a nurse on the weekend, after hours, and they were there. It wasn't anything life-threatening, but they came. It gives me peace of mind. I feel like, ‘This is a doable thing.’ My father can stay home, and that’s what we want for him."

Beyond the Clinical Care

The support Leo receives extends beyond clinical care.

A volunteer, Michael, visits for a couple of hours each week, talking with Leo about his history.

“Growing up in Danvers, he reminisces about younger days, chopping wood with his brother for heating and cooking – and getting ice from the iceman,” said Michael, who has been doing hospice volunteer work for over 20 years.

Over the past month, Michael and Leo have taken on a project together: building a model plane. It’s a first for Michael, so he’s letting Leo – who has some model building experience in his past – take the lead.

“When I visit with patients, I try to be a good listener, to hear their stories, wants, and needs at this time in their life,” said Michael. “This allows me to make the most of my time with them, making sure they understand that they're the boss and I'm happy to be there for them.”

Michael not only offers companionship for Leo, but also relief for Donna. She can run errands or go to lunch with a friend knowing he’s in good hands.

A music therapist also visits – about once a month. She brings her guitar, and it turns out, also does some instrument repair on the side.

“She was here yesterday and she actually fixed his harmonica,” said Donna. “It had cracked and she took it apart and repaired it.”

They both play their instruments during the music sessions. And during a memorable recent visit, a family dog – a large Rhodesian Ridgeback named Elroy who was at the house for the day – also joined in.

Donna tells the story – and shows the video: “He was sitting right there on the couch, looking at my father. I said, ‘Are you going to sing?’ And he did. Not just once. It was 10 to 15 minutes!”

Family Comes First

Leo’s home is filled with photos from his past and present. In addition to family portraits, there’s a shelf showcasing pictures and mementos from his military career – and special commendations he’s received as a veteran.

Leo has now been on hospice for over nine months. He still gets out of the house to visit with family – and they’ll often be by to see him. Having lived in his home for nearly six decades, he’s also a bit of a fixture in the neighborhood. When he’s sitting out front, kids may stop by to show him their coin collection or tell him about their latest soccer game.

Donna says these moments and memories wouldn’t be possible without the support of Care Dimensions. Yet for all the visits from nurses, aides, volunteers, and therapists, the center of his world remains the same as it was decades ago: family.

“Military families like us learned very early on that we have to rely on one another, because you don't always have anybody else.

“My father worked hard his entire life, always out in the field. So, I'm here taking care of him now. One hand washing the other.”

Leo rubs his hands and looks with pride and love: “One hand washing the other.”