Yoga for Living with Loss

Posted on July 27, 2016 by Sheena Nancy Sarles In 2015, my best friend of 40 years, confidant, and soul sister, Kaiya, passed away from brain cancer. I was by her side and devastated by her death. Only three months later, my sister, Susie, succumbed to lung cancer. How was I to actually live without my big sister or my soul sister? We were going to grow old together. I was bereft as these women I loved and cherished the most were not by my side as they had always been.
  My yoga practice gave me the tools to embrace my journey of loss without getting lost. Being no stranger to grief, I drew on experiences to help me navigate through these fresh losses.

I began my practice and study of yoga just before my first deep and devastating loss as my father passed on 12 years ago. Although the practice was new to me, yoga offered a place to be quiet, be present, be sad, and yet move in the way that was comfortable, and comforting to me. I continued my yoga study and practice as both the ancient philosophy of yoga and physicality of yoga nurtured and nourished a longing in me that I never knew existed. When my mother was declining, I was able to share with her some breathing techniques and a perspective that maybe we are not humans having a spiritual experience, but we may just be spiritual beings having a human experience. She passed in peace five years after my dad.

The beauty of the eight limbs of yoga, the rich exploration of the seven chakras, and the experience that deep loss can only come with deep love provided great solace for me. I also knew that the cycle of life continues, every day offers us new opportunities, and our emotions, happy or sad, are real and deserve our attention and self-compassion.
  I designed Yoga for Living with Loss to provide a safe haven for gentle movement, authentic feelings, and a compassionate heart as we live with our deep losses. Leading this transformative class has become one of the most profound experiences for living with my own losses and allowed me to invite others to join me on this journey. We don't “get over” being in grief; it ebbs and flows through our hearts as we live with it for the rest of our lives. However, when our mind and body are connected through breath, movement, and meditation, we can find a presence that honors our beloved, ourselves, and this life we are now living. Yoga provides a sacred practice for our bodies to physically grieve, release tension, and live with our broken hearts, both physically and emotionally.

The following reflection by an attendee in the first Yoga for Living with Loss class clearly articulates the impact grief can have on our bodies and how yoga can help us move back into balance.

"It has been said that the death of a loved one tilts your world off its axis. What I did not know is just how unsteady I had become. After the death of my loved one, I was bumping into things, losing my balance, and having trouble taking a full breath. I was hunched over, suffering from tight shoulders and neck pain. In all my grief, I just put all those symptoms aside, not wanting to take the time to care for myself.

 

 

 

In the Yoga for Living with Loss class we were reminded that grief affects us physically as well as emotionally. Grief causes us to be off-balance. Yes, that is what had happened to me. Sheena thoughtfully took us through gentle yoga positions while talking to us about the losses in her own life, and about accepting and sitting with grief while we acknowledge our pain and loss. Each week I stretched, breathed, and bended my way back into some sort of balance. And each week I could feel myself able to take a fuller breath, stand upright without swaying, and view the future with hope. "

For information about grief support programs, call Care Dimensions at 855-774-5100 or email [email protected].