Patient Stories

Choosing Hospice: Staying in Control of a Life Well Lived

John Byrnes enjoyed life and made the most of it.

As a young man, he met the love of his life, Mollie (Tower) Byrnes, at a Boston financial firm where he worked as a computer programmer and she as an administrative assistant. They lived together for two years, got married, and in 1967, put everything they owned into a VW microbus and drove it to San Francisco. 

They rented an apartment with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, sold the microbus, and enjoyed the flourishing music and arts scene. After two years, John and Mollie decided to return to Massachusetts and make new memories.

Mollie gave birth to two sons, Peter and Joshua, and became a stay-at-home mom. John loved interacting with people and went into high-tech sales. He and Mollie enjoyed gardening, spending time with friends, and attending concerts, plays, museum exhibits, and art events. Later in life, they also loved to travel for two weeks at a time. Their trips included Southeast Asia (twice), all of Europe, Mexico, and much of the U.S. 

“As much as we enjoyed traveling, we always loved coming home to Cape Ann,” recalled Mollie. “The people, scenery, and cultural organizations all made it special.” She and John lived in Gloucester and Rockport for 23 ½ years.

Living with cancer

In 2015, John was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Doctors told him he would live six to 10 months.

John was determined to keep living—and enjoying—life. Over the next seven and one-half years, he underwent three rounds of chemotherapy and experimental radiation treatments but kept a positive attitude.

“I remember him smiling and joking with the doctors at Dana-Farber (Cancer Institute),” said Mollie. “Much of his pain was under control, and he continued doing what he loved. We worked together in the garden for hours on end and attended many cultural events. Some of his friends could not tell he was suffering from a terrible diagnosis because he was always having fun and was humorous and witty.”

In the spring of 2023, John’s pain returned—first occasionally then more frequently. The treatment he had been receiving was no longer effective and John was tired of the nausea and fatigue side effects. He decided to stop treatment. Dana-Farber suggested hospice.

As the months went by, John experienced more pain, fatigue, and digestive issues. Having lived with cancer and endured several hospitalizations, John knew—and Mollie agreed—that hospice was a practical option for end-of-life care. “The hospital is a very busy place that can be noisy and not exactly comfortable, and John wanted a better option for his final days,” said Mollie. “He and I were wide open to hospice.”

Choosing Care Dimensions for hospice care

Over the years, several of Mollie and John’s friends had recommended Care Dimensions—and specifically, the Kaplan Family Hospice House. 

In October 2023, John was admitted onto hospice with Care Dimensions and received a few visits from the nurse case manager at their apartment in a senior living community in Peabody, Mass.

It quickly became clear that John’s pain could no longer be managed at home and the nurse arranged for John to be moved to the Kaplan Family Hospice House in Danvers for ‘round-the-clock general inpatient hospice care.

“Our staff can identify and assess symptoms as they present themselves and can consult with our physicians and nurse practitioners seven days a week to develop the most supportive plan of care for our patients,” noted Kaplan Family Hospice House Director Jennifer Sawyer, RN, CHPN. “Continuous monitoring and treatment allow for the best outcomes for our patients and their families.”

Mollie said moving John to the Kaplan House helped him and eased the strain on her, their sons, and the entire family. 

“The Kaplan House staff controlled John’s pain well and kept him comfortable as his system began to shut down,” Mollie recalled. “The hospice house was peaceful and quiet, and John felt surrounded by good people all the time. The care was amazing, and it was a serene and beautiful space that was very welcoming to family and friends. 

“As a gardener, John loved looking out the doors of his room at grass, shrubs, and trees,” Mollie continued. “I loved the artwork all around the hospice house and the furnished common areas were comfortable and welcoming. I wasn’t expecting it to be so home-like. The staff has a real commitment to comfort. We were surprised and pleased that a music therapist visited John to play music that was comforting for all of us.”

Living just a 10-minute drive from the Kaplan House allowed Mollie to visit John twice a day and “be John’s wife, not his caregiver,” she noted. In between visits, she was able to get some much-needed rest at home. Their sons, who live on the North Shore, also visited daily for the 10 days that John was at the Kaplan House. 

“Kaplan House was a great place for my dad to be during his last days,” said Josh Byrnes. “It was peaceful, and it was reassuring to see the staff were very caring and professional. They did an amazing job.” 

Ensuring hospice is available to others

John died peacefully on November 9, 2023, five days shy of eight years since his cancer diagnosis, and three days before his 80th birthday.

In appreciation for the hospice care John received, Mollie made a generous donation to Care Dimensions from her private foundation.

“I highly encourage others to consider using hospice—either where they live, or if eligible, at a hospice house like Kaplan,” said Mollie. “Choosing hospice gave John control to face his inevitable death in comfort, not in pain. For that, we are extremely grateful.”

Care Dimensions is a nonprofit organization that is committed to providing the very best end-of-life care with dignity and respect. Your generosity helps make this a reality for all our patients and families. Please consider donating now.