Patient Stories

Hospice Helps Daughter Keep Promise to Mom

Like many women of her generation, Kathleen Connell, 88, lived much of her life in traditional roles as devoted mother and homemaker.

A life-long resident of Lynn, Mass., Kathleen was born during the Great Depression and grew up with two brothers in an Irish Catholic household in the McDonough Square neighborhood of West Lynn. As a wife and mother, she raised six children and cooked and cleaned for her family.

Kathleen became a teacher’s assistant at a Lynn elementary school where she helped children with special needs. “She’d meet up with multiple groups of friends for lunches and “adventures” like driving to South Boston for an Irish pastry on a moment’s notice,” remembers her daughter, Sue Carroll.

Kathleen also became Sue’s biggest supporter and taught her to be independent. Kathleen encouraged Sue to complete a college degree as an adult and buy a home on her own.

“She loved being with people and enjoyed living life,” Sue says. “She also loved being with the kids, worked until her mid-70s, and drove until she was 82. She didn’t have that kind of independence as a young woman, and she wanted to pass it on to me.”

Onset of dementia

When Kathleen was 84, Sue started to notice changes in her mother’s habits and physical abilities. Kathleen had always paid her bills on time, but Sue began to see past-due notices in her mom’s home. She had trouble with short-term memory and became easily agitated. She was hospitalized several times for urinary tract infections (UTIs) and injuries from falls.

After multiple UTIs left Kathleen weak and confused, she saw a neurologist, who diagnosed her with dementia. The disease progressed to the point where Kathleen couldn’t be left at home alone.

“Several times my mom told me that she did not want to ever go to a nursing home and that she wanted to die at home, so my family and I hired a home health care service,” says Sue, who lives around the corner from her mother. As Kathleen became more dependent on others, she became angrier. “I began to see a different person,” Sue recalls. “She was losing the independence that she loved.”

When she wasn’t working or spending time with her husband and their three sons, Sue took Kathleen to the hairdresser and family events. As Kathleen’s dementia progressed, leaving the house became too much for her. Kathleen’s doctor recommended she stay at home.

Palliative care

Some friends told Sue that palliative care might help manage Kathleen’s symptoms, reduce or avoid trips to the hospital, and help Sue and the family better care for Kathleen. Monthly palliative care visits from Massachusetts General Hospital began in 2022. 

“Palliative care helped us understand my mother's cognitive decline, and how her age, recurring UTIs, falls, and hospital visits all factored into it,” Sue notes. “They explained what changes may be coming as the dementia got worse and guided us on how to handle those changes. For example, we brought in additional services at her home, and bought a new power-lift recliner to help her get up and move.”

In November 2024, one of Kathleen’s home health aides reported to Sue that Kathleen didn’t want to walk or talk.

“I called MGH Palliative Care and they said it was time to transition to hospice,” Sue says. “They recommended Care Dimensions, who would do the intake and set up everything. I had a good relationship with the palliative care team, so I trusted their judgment. It took a load off my mind.”

Guiding the dementia journey with hospice

Sue’s sister and uncles had hospice at the very end of their lives. Her mother benefits from an array of services hospice offers.

“Since my mom started hospice with Care Dimensions, I have learned it’s so much more,” says Sue. “My mom is very much enjoying the fabulous services, such Dan the Music Man (music therapy), spiritual services with (Spiritual Counselor) Pierre, and wonderful nursing care weekly with (RN Case Manager) Brett.”

When Kathleen was admitted onto hospice, Social Worker Jenne Robertson and RN Case Manager Brett Mentuck explained to Sue that the Care Dimensions team was going to support Kathleen, her family, and the home health aides throughout Kathleen’s dementia journey and ensure Kathleen was as comfortable as possible.

All Care Dimensions clinical staff receive training developed by the Alzheimer’s Association of MA/NH that addresses ways to engage and communicate with patients who have dementia, and how to work with patients’ families.

“Jenne and Brett explained what stage of dementia my mom was experiencing and what to expect in the future,” Sue says. “They grounded all of us and were kind, compassionate, and upbeat. They helped us make decisions that we couldn’t make on our own, such as changes to my mom’s daily routine and when to bring in a hospital bed. They gave us security because we knew we could depend on them. It gives us all great comfort knowing that services 24 hours a day are just a phone call away.”

“During our visits, we discuss Kathleen’s current condition and include her in the conversation as much as possible,” notes Brett. “We assess for any physical or emotional changes in Kathleen’s condition. We have many heartfelt conversations and include laughter where we can. This helps the energy in the home to remain peaceful, positive, and calm.”

“Sue was receptive to the support, education, and recommendations that I provided,” adds Jenne. “She now expresses confidence in being able to care for her mother in the way she has always hoped she would be able to.” 

Many sides of hospice bring comfort

Sue was surprised to learn about the “extras” that Care Dimensions provides for hospice patients, such as music therapy.

“Mom’s family was very musical,” Sue recalls. “I remember as a child there always was Irish music playing at my grandparents’ house. Now Mom loves to sing Irish songs with Dan. Pierre also will sing with her.”

Kathleen also enjoys a mechanical cat that Jenne, the social worker, brought her.

“Mom’s fists are usually clenched, but she opens her hands to hold the cat,” Sue observes. “She talks to it. It brings her comfort.

“I didn’t know there were so many sides to hospice,” Sue continues. “It’s comforting to know my mom’s days are being made less difficult by engaging in some kind of activity that she enjoys.”

As Kathleen’s disease progresses, her hospice team will be beside her and her family for the entire journey.

"Having Care Dimensions is like having an instruction manual,” reflects Sue. “All we’ve had to do is follow the guidance. It’s a relief to have this support, which can bring comfort and joy for my mom and our family.”