Creating a “memory box” for keepsakes can help a child fondly remember their person who has died.

Activities that Help Grieving Children and Teens

Children and teens grieve differently than adults, and it can be a complicated process.

Although there is no such thing as “normal” grief, children and teens often benefit from creative activities that allow them space to process their feelings, develop coping skills, and maintain connections to and remember the person who died. Tailoring activities based on their developmental level is important.  

Here are some activities and books to help grieving children and teenagers: 

1. Maintaining Connection 

Young children: 

• Read the book, “The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst, with your child and then encourage them to draw a picture of themselves and everyone they are connected to by an invisible string. 
• Ask your child if they would like to decorate a small/medium-sized rock in a way that is special to them and the person who died. Your child can hold and look at it when they are thinking of or missing their person. 

Pre-teenagers/teenagers: 

• Your teen can pick something that belonged to the person who died (jewelry, watch, shirt, etc.)  to look at and/or wear when they are missing that person. 

2. Remembering

Young children: 

• Give your child a small or medium-sized box and invite them to decorate it in a way that is special to them and the person they are remembering. They can store keepsakes such as photographs, jewelry, and letters in the box to help them remember the person who died. Once completed, allow your child to pick a place to put their box where they can easily access it.

Pre-teenagers/Teenagers:

• Baking or cooking their person's favorite meal or dessert can allow teens to remember being with that person. The smell and taste of the food could bring back memories and encourage them to express their feelings either on their own or with another adult. 

3. Coping Skills

Young children: 

• A “calm down jar” can help children manage high-energy emotions (such as anger, anxiety, frustration, etc.). Children can fill a clear plastic water bottle halfway with water and add different materials (glitter, colored glue, beads, pom-poms, etc.). When they finish, put the cap back on the bottle and tighten. Put tape around the cap to make sure the water bottle is completely sealed. Encourage your child to shake their “calm down jar” when they experience these high-energy emotions.   
• Encourage deep breathing. Have your child pretend to smell a flower and then pretend to blow out a candle, or they can inhale for three seconds, hold for three seconds, exhale for three seconds, and hold for three seconds.

Pre-teenagers/teenagers: 

• Encourage your teenager to practice self-care daily. This could include journaling, drawing/painting, going for a walk, exercising, and taking deep breaths while visualizing a calm place.

4. Emotions

Young children: 

• Read a book to your child about feelings (suggestions include “The Way I Feel” by Janan Cain and “The Feelings Book” by Todd Parr). Pause at each feeling that is mentioned in the book and ask your child to provide examples of a time when they experienced this emotion.

Pre-teenagers/Teenagers: 

• Teens can make a bracelet with different colored beads/strings. Encourage your child to identify a different feeling for each color and a time when they have experienced each one. 

Tips to keep in mind: 

• While working on an activity or reading with a child, it is important to make sure they are in a safe space to express themselves. 
• Follow your child’s lead. Let them know that they can take breaks and that it’s okay if they do not want to complete the activity or finish the book. 
• Check in with your child or teenager, during and after the activity or book, to see how they are feeling or if there is anything they would like to share. 

If you have questions on how to support your grieving children or teens, please contact Care Dimensions’ Children’s Program Department at 855-774-5100 or email [email protected].