Breathing Prayer: A Father’s Day Remembrance

Posted on June 17, 2016 by Ellen Frankel, LCSW As a young girl I would say the Shema every night and ask God to bless each family member. When I was 10 years old and my grandfather was sick, I prayed to God to make him better. These were prayers for protection and healing through the eyes of a child looking to God to keep everyone safe and to intervene to make the sick healthy or the sad happy.

As I grew, I witnessed the truth of a world that holds both joy and suffering. I would hear parents of a dying child claim that God heard their prayers and saved their son and wonder what they would say to the parents in the hospital room next door whose child didn’t survive despite the prayers they sent to God? Later in life, when seeking God in the face of crisis, I prayed not for a particular outcome, but for the strength to cultivate the attributes I needed during that time.

This past winter I spent time with my dad as he was dying. I learned that prayer was not always an action of doing or speaking, but rather of being. His last week was spent in a hospice pavilion in a lovely room with a view of the North Branch of the Chicago River. In the days when my dad could no longer speak, I sat holding his hand and listening to his breathing. Sometimes it was labored, other times it was soft and even. Time stood still as we breathed together, our breath becoming prayer itself as the Ruakh Elohim flowed in and out, the truth of life and death present in every inhalation and exhalation. The ducks in the river would gather, the heron would take flight, the day would turn to dusk, and still my dad and I held hands and breathed.

Living in each breath, the present moment revealed itself fully. I experienced a profound sense of gratitude for life with the understanding that death is part of this sacred cycle. God breathed life into us, and when we return to the breath, be it in the first cry of birth, during the rush of our busy lives, or in the last breath we take, we can connect with God in whatever way we understand the Sacred. Moment after moment as I held my father’s hand, everything else fell away and life itself was revealed. I was left with the understanding that every breath holds the possibility of prayer when we pay attention and breathe into the world with openness, gratitude, and love.

*********************

“Breathing Prayer” © 2013 by Ellen Frankel. Used by permission.

Learn about Care Dimensions' comprehensive grief support services.