Salvador Sumayo celebrating his 90th birthday with his grandson, Hermie

Loving Memories of My Grandfather

My grandfather Salvador Sumayo was one of the most important people in my life, as I was in his.

I spent a few of my early years in the Philippines where “Tatay” (grandfather) and “Nanay” (grandmother) ran a fruit stall at the local market. Early in the morning, Tatay would put me in the car and take me to the market. Having woken up in the car, the only way I could fall asleep was to be in a car. He would drive me around until I fell asleep every night.

I was born in Malden, Mass., in 1994, but at 11 months old my mom took me to the Philippines to live with my grandparents and my dad. My mom, who was a nurse, came to Massachusetts from the Philippines in 1987. We all moved back to the U.S. around my third birthday.

We lived in Melrose. Tatay’s daily routine would consist of waking up, making his breakfast sandwich, and going for his morning walks to Starbucks downtown. He loved Starbucks as he would drink two cups of coffee each morning, sometimes three! He also loved action movies and TV shows, especially Walker Texas Ranger, with his favorite actor, Chuck Norris.

Onset of dementia

In 2015, Tatay and Nanay moved back to the Philippines. I called them at least twice a day. While visiting them in November of 2022, I noticed that Tatay would sing in the middle of the night and become agitated sometimes. A doctor in the Philippines had suspected that Tatay had dementia. We brought him back to Massachusetts the next month, and doctors here confirmed the diagnosis.

The first few months back were rough for all of us as he would sing loudly all night, and sleep during the day. He was prescribed different medications to try but his condition did not get better. In June 2023, he was admitted to an acute care hospital and spent a month in a geriatric psychological unit. He returned to us at our family home. He was always stubborn, but he became more argumentative. He wouldn’t go to the doctor.

Fortunately, we were made aware of the Care Dimensions HomeMD primary care at home program. A doctor and nurse practitioner visited Tatay at home and gave him the medical care and monitoring he needed. Having the care delivered right at home eliminated so much stress on Tatay and our family.  

Dementia began to take its toll, however, and his physical abilities began to diminish. The man who would walk to Starbucks, rain, shine, or snow began to have trouble with daily tasks, such as bathing, using the bathroom, and walking. Some of his cognitive functions weren’t all there but I was grateful that he didn’t ever forget any family, especially me. I would be helping him with a task, and he would say, “I remember taking care of you when you were little, now you're doing the same.” I will just return the favor Tatay. I love you.

Hospice care at home

After another hospital stay, HomeMD referred Tatay to Care Dimensions for hospice. At first my mom and I thought that meant Tatay would have only a few days to live. We immediately learned that he could have hospice care for six months or more, which was reassuring and comforting.  

His hospice nurse, Tracy, came every week to check on Tatay, refill or adjust his prescriptions, order supplies, and get to know us. We’re a close family and Mom and I helped Tatay with showers and personal care, so we didn’t need a hospice aide.

My family and I took turns watching Tatay as he kept waking up and walking around. Being able to call the nursing support line anytime of the day or night was extremely helpful. The triage nurse would advise us on what to do when Tatay was agitated and not sleeping. Other times we called for larger issues such as blood in his urine or trouble breathing, and a nurse came right away.

In December 2023, we called and told Triage that he had been sleeping for a couple days and was getting sick and having trouble breathing. They sent an oxygen tank and breathing machine the same day. A nurse came to check on him for the next three days and he rebounded. Hospice made managing Tatay’s illness so much easier on us. All we had to do was call. There were no more hospital visits. All the supplies we needed – walkers, wheelchairs, diapers – were provided.

Nurse Tracy told us that we did a great job helping to care for Tatay, which likely prolonged his life.

In May of 2024, I was set to leave for a federal law enforcement academy. I told Tatay that I would be leaving, and he said, “Now who’s gonna give me a shower, and everything else?” I laughed a bit and said, “There’s Mama too, she’s not leaving.” We all contributed in some way or form. Nanay would babysit, Dad would do the grocery shopping and always ask Tatay what he wanted (his obsessions were grapes, bananas, and especially Diet Coke).

After getting injured at the academy, I went to physical therapy for a few months and took the summer off. I spent every day with Tatay and took him to the casino, and of course to Starbucks. I had a feeling that someone upstairs knew his time was almost up and gifted me the ability to spend all those days with him.

Saying goodbye

In September of 2024, I went to another law enforcement academy. I Facetimed Tatay before and after class. Three days into the academy, I learned that Tatay was nearing the end of life.  My mom told me Tatay had been sleeping with an oxygen mask. I told him to hang on. I would be home in two days.

Leaving class and driving to the airport was one of the toughest moments in my life, knowing the inevitable was going to happen. My mom put the phone in Tatay’s ear, and I cried, saying, “Hold on for me, I'm coming. I will be there in two hours. I literally need you to hold on. Please don't go.”

He did just that, plus one additional whole day. He even opened his eyes at one point, and I said, “Look here, we're gonna take a selfie.”  I can’t thank the Care Dimensions team enough for all the care and support that they give to Tatay, me, and my family.