How can we help?
Life was good.
My wife, MaryAnn, and I had a great family with two awesome children. We also had many friends, held good jobs, and looked ahead to planning for our future.
But tragedy hit our family hard when MaryAnn died suddenly in an accident while on a business trip in 2014. She was just 47. Telling my children – who were 14 and 12 at the time – the news of their mother’s passing was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. No other challenge in life even comes close. The three of us were forced down a road that changed everything in our lives.
Day by day, the word “change“ took on significance. Change that affected our family dynamic around the house and during simple things like dinner-time conversations. Change that saw friends go and the friends who stayed. Change that affected how people interacted with my children and me. Change of priorities, our new perspective of life going forward, our sense of security. We were handed a completely new life without any kind of user manual.
Facing a new reality while grieving
Fairly soon after this new life became a reality, I realized that survival is all about taking steps in the right direction. Very small baby steps. Sometimes it’s one step forward and two steps backwards or sideways, but it’s all about just taking that next step forward.
For example, I wasn’t able to look past the next day of what had to be done for the survival of my family. I was only able to look at what had to be done that next day and no further. But I also began to realize that these small accomplishments started to build self-confidence. Confidence that told me, “I think I can handle a little more.” I began to look at more than just one day at a time, maybe even plan something for the weekend ahead.
For this survival, I learned how to dig deep and find that inner strength because life doesn’t wait for us to heal. Whether it’s a small task or a large challenge, we take it on because we really don’t have a choice, which builds our confidence to face this new life. It rebuilds our self-esteem. It proves just how strong we are. Little by little, this new identify emerges and we slowly become proud of who we are and what we’re able to accomplish.
Confidence gives us hope. Hope that we just might be OK at some point. Yes, there’s a lot of work and many challenges ahead, but each little win gives us the confidence and hope to take the next step. I look at HOPE this way – Healing, Optimism, Patience, Evolve.
Once this feeling of hope begins to take shape, something else unexpectedly happens: peace of mind. Ever so small, we grab it. We allow our mind to settle just a little and realize that we’re doing the best we can on this new journey.
Maybe confidence and peace of mind will help us look further out than just a few days. Maybe we start looking ahead at larger chunks of time and maybe taking on more challenges.
We start adapting to our new identity, our new life. I’m not saying the battle is over and here’s the new me. But a little at a time, we take on these changes that give us more clarity of this new life.
Here are some ways to help you find some comfort and even happiness as you navigate the holidays without your loved one. ...
Continue readingChildren and teens often benefit from creative activities that allow them space to process their feelings, develop coping skills, and remember the person who died. ...
Continue readingWhen working with hospice patients and their families, spiritual counselors wear many hats. Learn how we support patients beyond traditional religious roles. ...
Continue readingAnyone—patient, family, care provider—can make a referral. Fill in the form online or call us today.
Since 1978, Care Dimensions, formerly Hospice of the North Shore, has provided comprehensive and compassionate care for individuals and families dealing with life-threatening illnesses. As the non-profit leader in advanced illness care, we offer services in over 100 communities in Massachusetts.
Copyright 2025 | Care Dimensions, 75 Sylvan Street, Suite B-102, Danvers, MA 01923 | 888-283-1722 | 978-774-7566 |